i'm fine-tuning my angry girl music pandora station...

We made it through week one of having a comic come out three days a week. It's pretty sweet actually. I mean, so it doesn't make money, who cares? The fact is, I'm writing something that gets published on a weekly basis. Not only that, it's been published on a weekly basis for almost a year now. I love it! How many people can say that they are actually living out their dreams? It's a pretty cool thing to be able to claim.

On a related note: my book is taking forever to complete. Splitting writing time can be frustrating. There are days when I know I have to get a comic done, but what I really want to do is work on the other love in my life. I suppose it is how things go. I've never been super amazing at balance.

On an unrelated note: the weather recently has been killer on my joints. I noticed today when I was climbing some stairs that my feet are starting to really hurt again. It is a frustrating thing, not knowing what the heck is wrong with me. All I know is that I wish it was in my head because then I could just will it away. The only long term relief I have had since it started was pregnancy... and let's face it, that isn't happening again. (At least not for years and years.) For now it is pain killers and trying to ignore it as much as possible.

I suppose that I should try to find some sleep. Maybe tonight I'll have splendid dreams and wake up to sunshine.

more of the usual...

It has most likely been too long since I last posted. Holidays make life busy.

I got new DS games for Christmas! The Professor Layton game I had demanded Josh get me was nestled sweetly in my stocking where it was supposed to be. The puzzles are fun. The story isn't as good as the first one I don't think, but that is okay, I play them for the puzzles anyway. the other game I got was a Sherlock Holmes game. I am excited to check it out, but right now Prof. Layton is consuming my DS attention.

On an even nerdier note, I have been spending entirely too much time leveling alts on WoW. Silly addictive game. My Paladin is now a 73 and I have a hunter up to 47. I'm sure that they will both eventually reach level cap and join my other two 80s. This may make me completely pathetic, but I really don't care. I find plenty of time for my family and other hobbies as well.

Knitting is a new hobby taking up a lot of my attention. I've discovered that since I started knitting I have found time to make projects for myself. I don't know if I could knit for others, it takes too much time. Crocheting is easier to part with for some reason. I've been posting my projects on a different blog so that this one wasn't swallowed up by all of the things I have been making. It's great to have something to keep my hands busy. It's also great to make a little extra money from something that I enjoy.

My book is feeling neglected. I suppose that holidays suck up a lot of time, but I still feel bad for not working on it like I would like to. It is coming along. I like my plot and I like where I am going to be able to take it. I thought about giving myself a word cap, and then I changed my mind. I don't want to limit where it could go, or extend it beyond where it should. Maybe I will just give myself a time cap. I'd like to have it done and ready for editing by the end of the year.

Comic. Oh, the comic. Sweet time-suck of frustration and awesome. It is getting better I think. The art is progressing and the writing is starting to look and sound like actual comic writing. I hope that the people that read it are getting enjoyment from it, and I hope that this new year brings even more readers.

In other news, I have a three year old now. I'm old. See her blog for more details. I also have the sweetest 1 1/2 year old on the planet. He is such a monkey and he makes me smile daily. See his blog for more details. (I have such a terrible blog addiction, it isn't even funny, I wonder if they have special therapists for that...)

I think that's about it. I won't bore you all with any more details of my life. Things are busy, hectic, crazy, obnoxious, and messy. However, they are also wonderful. With the bad comes good, and sometimes we wouldn't find the things that are making us deliriously happy without going down the painful roads. I hope you are all having a wonderful new year so far and that it continues to be so. Happy January!

it's almost christmas...

It's almost Christmas and I should be more excited. The holidays are stressful. I have a few more orders to get done, but they should be fairly quick. I also have a few presents to get done for my family. I'm actually looking forward to wrapping presents. I think it's fun. I like making boxes look pretty under the tree.

Due to the fact that annoying things are attracted to me, I lost my license for driving without insurance. It's going to take forever to get it back. It makes me so ridiculously upset that I didn't do something fun to get in trouble. No I followed all of the traffic laws and got pulled over for something the cop admitted I didn't do and got a ticket for something that I wasn't aware of. I mean, if I'm going to get in trouble, I want to do something rebellious and sinister. That would make it feel a little better, right? Maybe? Maybe not. Maybe I just don't like getting in trouble.

The week after Christmas Josh is going hunting and the kids are going to go stay with his mom for a day (maybe two). I'm hoping to find a hotel room that I can afford in Boise so that when I get a break I can at least do something. I have this fear that I'm going to end up without a license and stuck in my house. I would rather be stuck in Boise and close to coffee and a movie theater.

The comic seems to be doing pretty well. We've been putting it up for 6 months now and we haven't lost any of our readers. I think that is a pretty darn good start. By this point I figure the people that were reading it to be nice would be done with it if they didn't like it. I'm still enjoying writing it and I have all kinds of story ideas. I suppose that is an excellent place to be.

A few weeks ago I started a new blog. I've been selling a few of my toys and things. It's keeping me busy and I enjoy feeling like I am actually doing something with my time. I pretty much suck at the whole stay at home mom thing. I'm not a fan of cooking and cleaning and sitting all day with a smile on my face waiting for my husband to come home. I really, really wish I was. If I could transform myself into Donna Reed I would be tempted, but since I can't, having a hobby has really helped.

Speaking of hobbies, my book has been going pretty well. I work on it when I can, and it keeps me feeling like I'm using my brain. That is a very good thing because occasionally I feel like my brain may be turning into complete mush.

I think it's time to wrap a few presents now. It would be good to do it while the kids are napping.

penny for a thought...

It seems that my life has reached the stress out point once again. I'm not really sure why, but for whatever reason, I am feeling overwhelmed. My solution this go of it seems to be playing more WoW. Today I got my paladin Penelope to 60 which really means nothing except for the fact that I am one step closer to having my 3rd character at max level.

Halloween came and went and I didn't blog about it at all. It seems strange to me because I spent hours making all of our costumes. Jenna wanted to be Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star and she wanted Cole to be The Itsy Bitsy Spider. So, Josh and I decided to be nursery rhymes as well. He was Old King Cole and I was The Cat and The Fiddle. My kids were pretty darn adorable. I think I made a pretty cute kitty as well.

The comic seems to be doing okay. I'm working on new story lines and trying to weave more of a plot line through the whole thing. There are always set backs for me. I have so little faith in myself and any talent I may (or may not) have. It makes it hard when critics start in on it. Rhett has been getting a lot of praise for his art progression, and rightfully so. My writing seems to just get constantly criticized. It's really frustrating, but something I know I need to get used to.

Crocheting has been a big stress relief for me recently. If you are at all interested in what I make, you can check out my new blog (we're not going to talk about the huge blogging problem I have) Cuddle Zoo (thanks Brandi for the name).

Yeah. I'm done typing now. I'm going to go back to watching Twilight ridiculously early in the morning and leveling Penny some more. My brain isn't feeling so hot tonight... so I figure distracting it is the right move at the moment.

busy and such but that's okay...

Hello, my life is busy and I'm running out of time to be bored. That, is a very good thing.

First, I am once again working in the nursery twice a week. It seems that the 5ish month break that I took was enough to make me want to go back. It is crazy to me that I have worked there for 6 years. The babies that I started with are in first grade this year. The kids in the oldest room that I started with are in third grade. How crazy! Seeing them walking around and being big kids is strange and makes me feel very old.

The comic is going well. At least I think it is. My little trip to Vegas inspired me with a story line that I have been quite pleased with. Characters are developing and people are responding and it is quite nice. For a while I was feeling a bit discouraged about the whole thing, but it seems I got over myself and am now okay with the fact that only a few people might ever enjoy it. I've decided that as long as someone is reading it and laughing that I am perfectly okay with that.

There are a hundred little things occupying my time and I like them. I finally convinced Josh that we should move to Boise. I've been looking for a place that we can afford that is big enough for us and that allows dogs. Tuesdays and Thursdays I drive to Boise to do comic stuff and to work on my own writing and just to see friends. It is also possible that I spend entirely too much time playing WoW and games on my DS. I figure whatever gets me though my day with some of my sanity is 100% time well spent.

Family stress is getting to me these days and I figure I will blog about it later, but I just don't have it in me today... at least not at this very moment. Maybe later.

mommy needs a hobby...

I meant to get up the second part of my Vegas trip before I blogged anything else, but I didn't. So, I will edit pictures and do that later, but right now I am going to blog about other things.

Today I realized, once again, how badly I need to find myself a good hobby. Somehow I managed to get up before my kids and shower. I also did a good chunk of the other things I usually do when they nap. So, when they went to sleep, I had nothing to do. The WoW servers were (and still are) down for maintenance, and so there was no death knight leveling on the agenda. What the heck am I supposed to do with myself in such situations? I watched the season premier of The Guild and episode three of The Legend of Neil (both very good by the way) and then I randomly clicked through youtube videos for a while... But now, I am bored.

I need to finish the story line I am on for the comic. I also need to stop trying to write them ahead of time. I had one all worked out a few weeks back, but now it just isn't going to work. At least not anytime soon. I'm enjoying Lola too much and she isn't really involved in the one I already wrote. I need to get the script for Thursday finished, like now, but I am just tripping over the punchline. It's so frustrating!

The new Professor Layton game is out for the DS and I need it (okay, just want it). If I had that, I would have wonderful puzzles to baffle my brain for hours and hours and it would be fantastic! I start working at the church again next week, and I'm hoping to use some of that paycheck to get the game. But, I'm also hoping that maybe I can get it now and just put my paycheck in the bank later when I get it.

Okay, I think that's enough of my rant. I need to get some food soon and so I am going to go dig through the fridge. I let Jenna "make" my lunch which means I had apple juice and a yogurt. Both were very tasty, but not very filling. I need carbs. Yummmmm....

oh, the summer is gone...

Getting ready to flee this city to a different city. It seems like forever since the last time that Lola and I ran away for a hastily planned trip. It's super exciting, and I can't wait! It's funny, I always plan these escapes ready to get away for a bit, but when it comes right down to it, I dread leaving my kids. I'm going to miss them. They, will probably not miss me. They will be very busy and having a very good time.

Life has been so busy this summer that I've forgotten most of it. It almost feels like we didn't do anything, but the truth is, we were so busy that I barely had time to think.

The comic is going well. I'm enjoying it and am starting to feel the characters take on their own personalities. It's funny how that happens. It's like they exist outside of me, even though I created them. They have full control of where the scripts go now.

My latest trial has been trying to stay grounded. I know what I believe and how I want to view the world and how I want the world to view me. I get frustrated when I catch myself thinking negatively or living in the past. I also get frustrated when those little nagging comments start to come to the surface again. I know there are people out there that think they could do better than I am doing with my life. (I say "I know" because they tell me.) Honestly, I'm sure that by their standards, they could. The problem is that I am happy with how I have chosen to live and with the general direction my life is going. It's true that I make mistakes, but I just can't regret any of them. Why regret things? Why spend so much time feeling down on yourself that you forget how to be happy? Forget how to smile? I just don't get it. I'm continuing on quest to not judge those around me and to forgive, but sometimes, people just make it hard. Seriously, ridiculously, hard.

I should think about sleeping now. Lots to get done before I leave tomorrow! (Well, technically today.)

my week...

Pictures taken.
Laughed at the M.
Andrea LAN party raid.
Comic up.
Friends are great.
Picked up kids.
Perfect evening.
Comic up.
Unexpected comfort.
Friend in town.
Drop off kids and Josh.
Wonderful birthday party for friends.
More vodka than expected in drink.
True Blood.
Slept on couch.
Perfect dreams.
Swimming pool.
Burgers.
Failed nap.
Played with clay.
Wrote a blog.
Harry Potter tomorrow.

pretty, pretty please...

Hey reader type friends! So, I was talking to a buddy today, and it turns out that the more people that link to our comic on their blogs or web sites the more Google will respect us. Google respecting us and not thinking that we might be a bot is a good thing because then we will show up towards to top of searches. Nifty, huh?

So, I have decided to beg: Would you mind linking to our comic? Pretty, pretty please? I would be so appreciative. Thanks for all the theoretical help!

Here is the link to the site:Bus Stop Comic

Thanks again, blog buddies! <3

catching up with something...

Summer has started for me. Josh is home and we are settling into a routine. I ran away for a bit this week. Josh let me check myself into a hotel in Boise for a bit of rehab. Maybe I am weak, but I was beginning to lose it. My family is amazing. However, my brain does not function well spending every day in my house and caring for them. I have no idea what is missing from my girlness, but there is a part of me that has no ability to handle the housewife and stay at home mom thing. Why I am admitting this to the world, I have no idea. I know that some of the people that read this are the perfect women. I envy you. There are people that I know that can sew, cook, clean, and care for their families like nobody's business. I write web comics. My brain must be stuck. Only, it seems to be stuck in the same place as most teen boys. Kind of a strange place to find myself in, but I enjoy it. There is a notebook in my bag full of scripts and storyboards and another one waiting to be filled with the nonsensical poetry that lives in a constant stream in my head. It's like narration. It just flows all of the time and, occasionally, there will be a chunk that should be written down. Only, I suppose it is not like narration in the same instant because most of it has nothing to do with my life... just with life in general.

Okay, now for a little bit of the wickedness living in my head. Sometimes, I just want to mess with people. My computer has a file on it of blogs I have never posted. They aren't posted, because they aren't factual. Some of them sound like they are (okay, most of them do), but they aren't. However, it would be fun to put them up. People are so sure that what they read is what is the truth. It is fun to see how they react when it isn't. It is hard to be a writer. That is why I have two different blogs; one to spout whatever nonsense I want, and this one. There are still people who read my life into my poetry and random whatever. I beg of you, stop trying. If you cannot stop, then keep it to yourself... Otherwise, I am going to have to resort to posting the blogs on my hard drive. It will be like War of the Worlds all over again.

once upon a time there was a comic premiere...

We went out to celebrate the release of Bus Stop. It was a lot of fun. Here are a few pictures from the event. Thanks to you guys for hanging out and sharing this with us. It meant a lot.

(Oh, and here is my obligatory plug to the comic: Click here and read the first one. Next one out on Thursday.)

Heidi and I

Oddly enough I think Rhett was more freaked out than I was.

Sam and Kevin

Gordon and Beth
(Thanks for letting us go to your house after we ate Beth!)

Zac and Sheen

hello June...

New months always make me a little mad. It stinks to have something end and to have something new start by sitting down and paying bills. Bills, are not fun.

This month I actually have something to look forward to. Sure, I still have to take time to give my money out to all of the people demanding it, but I also have a comic to premiere! In 14 hours and 24 minutes it will be online. It's a little hard to believe that something that I have been working towards for several months is happening. To be truthful, I wasn't sure it would. I figured that Rhett and I would talk about it a few times and that we wouldn't be able to come up with anything. However, we did. In my opinion it is good, but most importantly I like it and am proud of it. Rhett did a good job drawing my scripts and story boarded stick figures. Our ideas work well together...

I really hope you guys enjoy it.

Visit my newest baby tonight if you want; it will be up at midnight. Also, feel free to toss your feedback to the e-mail addresses on the "Creators" page or to our facebook page.

it's a happy kind of stress...

The weekend was a good way to go into this next week. Josh and I got to spend a lot of time together and yesterday we had some friends over for a barbecue. It was relaxing and a very nice break before the stress of this week.

The kind of stress that I have right now is okay. I am happy about what is causing the stress. It is just a little strange to work on something for several months and then finally see it turn into what you wanted. Next Tuesday my web comic launches. I've been a little more than nervous about it, but I'm starting to think that it might actually be good. This week could be an interesting one for me. I'll be stressed, but at the same time, excited.

www.bus-stopcomic.com

a project or two...

My blog has been sadly neglected recently. Every day I spend at least a little time thinking that I should be spending more time with it, but ever day I get side tracked. The book has been suffering from mild neglect as well. The comic strip has been pulling away a little too much of my time. I admit, I miss my book. I miss her. I miss the comfort and agony all wrapped up into one tumultuous bundle that comes from putting so much effort and love into one area. She takes so much from me, and yet she really does give as well. The comic has come to a point where I believe I may be able to concentrate less on it now. I suppose we shall see.

Today I shared a piece of my soul with a lot of people. I know it is probably crazy, but everything I write holds on to me and becomes part of me. All of the silly poems, all of the not so silly poems, letters, stories, essays, even my comic strip. They are all me. Turning in a paper in college used to be the closest that I came to allowing people to read what I write. I developed my blog to help ease some of that; to help myself get used to the idea of the world hearing my voice. It has helped I suppose, at least mildly. However, the minute I picture some stranger ogling my creative output, I feel a little cheap, a little dirty. It's mine! Don't look at it like a piece of meat.

The fear is slowly subsiding. The test strip has gone up. First reactions are coming in. So far, nothing terrible; nothing I cannot handle. So far, people seem to be enjoying this one little piece of me. That is what I want. I want people to enjoy it. I want people to laugh. At the same time, I want to keep it all to myself. I want to be selfish.

June is coming. I think I am ready... at least, I hope I am.

what has been going on in the life of me...

Vagueness aside I am going to try and step outside of my self-doubt and give you a glimpse into what I have been up to in a professional and literary sense.

A while ago I mentioned my new job writing. Since I got my mini I have been faithfully writing on Tuesdays and Thursdays. My book is coming along, and I am excited about it. Although I am still shy about the content I am starting to share it with friends to get opinions and also just to get used to the idea of people reading what I write.

On another note, my friend Rhett and I are writing a web comic. Along with admitting that I am actually going to be publishing something to the internet, I also must admit that I am writing a comic. My inner nerd has been coming out of the closet recently and so this is easier to admit than it would have been at one time, but I still feel a little bit strange about telling this to the world (or at least to those of you that read this). Our website is live right now, but we will not be posting our first comic until June first. We have been working on the strip for a few weeks now, and it is really coming along. I am quite proud of it and am actually excited for all of you who wish to read it to have the opportunity. Hopefully June comes quickly! If you are curious and want to see our killer logo you can go to www.bus-stopcomic.com. The logo is all that is there at the moment, but we will slowly be building character bios and personal bios and making a layout and so on. If you want to keep up on such things, or just get a reminder when when publish our first strip, I am also going to be making our Facebook page and Twitter feed live in the near future; send me a message on here and I will invite/follow you on one or both! (It feels strange to want to publicize something that I am working on.)

On the note of publicizing I want to thank those of you that follow my blog for reading! I am coming to grips with the fact that I actually have a readership and I am going to try my hardest to continue blogging. I won't lie, this blog will probably continue to be mostly about my life and feelings, but I do have another blog where I write and let my silly self out. That blog might have a serious post at times but, for the most part, it is pretty light and hopefully at least a little entertaining. Here is the web address: http://semi-crazyblondegirlstrikesagain.blogspot.com. You may visit and follow if you wish.

Again, thank you all for reading what I write. My anxiety levels may be high right now, but I think, for the most part, it is worth it. Here I am stretching myself and taking a dive into the deep end of the pool. Thanks for the support that you all have shown me! It really does help.

i see trees of green... (kind of)...

It is time for new contacts. In a few hours I have an eye appointment. It is interesting to me how much I look forward to and dread having my eyes checked all at the same time. Yes, new contacts mean I get to stop wearing the pair I have been wearing for three months, however, I also have to hear that my eyes have, once again, gotten worse. I am definitely excited to get some new glasses. It has been almost four years since my last pair and my prescription has changed 3 times since then. Needless to say, they do little to no good and I am nearly blind while wearing them.

Tomorrow is Thursday which means that I am meeting with Rhett about Bus Stop. There are several ideas camping in my brain that I need to get onto paper before then.

My book is feeling abandoned. Josh was worried about that... I suppose it was rightfully so. He is working late every night this week and so my book will probably stay abandoned until next week. Maybe I'll get to the coffee shop early tomorrow and work on it then. She wants some attention and, quite frankly, I miss her. We were getting along so well, and I suppose it would be good to keep our relationship functional. It would be sad to let her waste away in my head and heart and not to let her express herself fully.

the weekend was wonderful...

Our kids spent this past weekend with the grandparents...

(insert crazy, excited, evil, plotting, ecstatic laughter here)

Friday Josh and I went to Barnes and Noble. Hot date, I know. It was awesome! We bought books and journals and it was the best thing ever! Then, we came home for poker. Snack food, friends, and gambling... generally a good night.

Saturday was spent relaxing. We played some WoW and went shopping. It is so nice to have clothes that fit! ALL of the maternity clothes will now be packed away. It is hard to get rid of them, so I suppose I will hold on to them for a while. I bought t-shirts, and dressy shirts, and size 4 jeans. That's right, SIZE 4! I am definitely feeling pretty good about that one. As soon as my tummy goes back to normal I will have my pre-mommy body back. WOOHOO! Hmmm. That was a bit of a digression. Anyhow, after shopping we went downtown to Bar de Nay and had a wonderful dinner and drinks (I really love the Basil Instinct). Saturday ended with movie watching and more WoW playing. All in all a top weekend.

In other news:
I have taken a leap of faith and decided to start doing things that would previously have caused me to panic and then promptly fall over dead. My security net is Rhett... (I bet that makes you feel REALLY nervous. heehee. Sorry, friend.) Look for more on this soon. For now I will just say that Thursday cannot come soon enough!

there once was a girl...

Today I get to write. Yipee! Josh is watching the kids; I'm skipping out on hanging out with my friends; and I am going to write. I have been feeling a little discouraged because it has been so long. Tonight is the night!

Also, Rhett has asked if I would try to write a comic strip. I have been completely absorbed in a few different web comics lately, and think I might give it a try. Of course, first I need him to help me decide on a concept. It could be fun though. Scripting a comic might be a nice reprieve from writing prose.

One o'clock. Nap time for the babies. WOOHOO! Mommy is totally taking a shower. Heehee.