my heart just broke...

Today my sister, grandma, Jenna and I went to Weiser to spend Father's Day with my dad (and mom). We went out for an amazing dinner and then we had a lot of fun just hanging out and chatting. My parents found somebody to lease their house, and so pretty soon they will both be officially moved down. I am so excited to have them close so that I can see them more often.

When we got home tonight it was past Jenna's bedtime and so I took her in and gave her her binky and Lumpy and covered her up. I thought she would fall right to sleep, but a few minutes later I heard her screaming bloody murder from her room. She sounded like she must have crawled out of bed and hurt herself, but when I went in to check on her she was sitting in the middle of her bed and crying. When she saw me she threw her binky and said, "Dada." I said, "He's not here baby, it's time for bed. Mommy loves you!" I tried to give her her binky back, but she just took it out and said, "Dada!" I picked her up to rock her for a little while until she calmed down, but she started to kick and hit and flail and scream, "Dada! Dada!" at the top of her lungs. So I laid her back down and tucked her in and went outside feeling quite helpless.

I came back inside after a while and while listening to her continue screaming I got ready for bed and went back to the bedroom to watch TV for a little bit. After endless minutes she must have fallen asleep because after listening to her whimper on the baby monitor for a while she was finally silent. My heart broke for my poor baby girl tonight. I couldn't explain to her in a way she would understand that her daddy would be back soon, and I couldn't comfort her because I was not the parent she needed. I'm really hoping that this doesn't happen every night this week... I don't think my heart could take it!

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