10.12.2009

pop goes the weasel (or my head)...

Warning: This is me going stark raving mad.

Let me tell you a little something about me. I am happy with the way I look. (At least mostly.) I am not, however, happy with feeling like I have to be upset with myself because that is what girls do. It is harder for me to gain weight than lose it. Why do I have to apologize for that? I still get excited when I fit into an old pair of jeans that haven't fit me since I had my kids. I don't want to be skinnier, but I do enjoy that I am back to my pre-baby size. It is frustrating to me that I get scowled at for being the way I am. You know what? I can't really help it, and it sucks to feel guilty over something so trivial. Why is it that because I am small I can't be excited about weight loss? It is a fact that after I had my kids I was over weight for my height. Not a lot, but enough. 160 pounds is too much for me and my petite frame whereas it is the perfect weight for a lot of lovely people I know. A size 8 looks a lot bigger on me than on your average person. It sucks that people get mad at me for wanting to not be a size 8! Every other girl on the planet is allowed to improve on the way they look and be excited about it. I want to as well! So...

This is me being excited! I put on an old favorite pair of jeans last week. They hadn't fit me since I got pregnant with Jenna, and I had just about decided that they would never fit me again. I was really okay with that, however, they fit! And I'm happy! Yay!

Next item of irritation. I am not too young to be a mom. Okay? 24 is a great age to have kids. I totally respect the decision that some people make to wait to have kids, I wish that those people would respect the fact that I am a perfectly capable adult. I am not a child. Sorry, just because someone is 5 to 10 years older than me it does not mean they are more qualified to be a parent of a child the same age as mine. Now, if you have had toddlers before and your kids are now grown, I welcome advice... this is a totally different situation.

Usually my "Why can't we all get along?" speeches are about politics. However, I want to give a quick one about parenting. I think that I am a good parent, but the more other people tell me that what they are doing is better or that they feel like there is something wrong with one or both of my kids, the more I doubt. It really shouldn't matter who home schools or who does the public school bit. It also shouldn't matter what kid was walking first, who only does organic food, who chooses to cloth diaper, or uses preschool to help keep their sanity. You know, we can all be good parents and make different choices in those areas. We can all get along and recognize that there are different methods of parenting that all work equally as well. Can't we? Maybe not. But, here's the thing, I am so tired of losing confidence and feeling bad about myself because other people are too critical.

Sorry for the explosion, but I promise that it is better for me to blog it than to let it bottle until it explodes into a volcano of me feeling inferior and hiding in my closet while yelling and crying at no one. (Yeah, I can get that crazy.)

2 comments:

brandilion said...

People are dicks.

That is what it all boils down to.

As someone with probably 40 lbs on you, I would like to point out any and all hating on your size is pure jealousy. Plain and simple.

Jess said...

Sometimes I'm still surprised when I see my thoughts written in your blogs. We can be so very similar. So here is a "Yay!" from a like mind.