6.30.2009

a severe case of feeling displaced...

What happens when you don't put yourself out there? You get left behind. You see the rest of the people around you moving on together, and you sit by the side of the road watching. Then, you end up flopped on your couch in the middle of the night and have yourself a good little pity party. You convince yourself that you are not worth the time or effort, and then you plan the best way to avoid the world the next day. You start plotting turning off your phone and then painting a red X on your door so that the neighbors all think you have the plague and just turn around and walk away. Of course, in the end, this just furthers you down into the pit that got you into the mess in the first place. People continue to not know you and continue to forget you exist. Eventually, you disappear into a poof of smoke and the world just believes that you were only an illusion or a nice idea that somebody maybe had once.



I will stop feeling sorry for myself now. Maybe. I will at least stop whining to the world about how sorry I feel for me.

2 comments:

Mama Lois said...

You are more than a nice idea someone had. He planned for you. Daughter, wife, mother, sister,writer,university graduate, friend and dreamer. Much loved by all who are blessed by your presence, you are no illusion. You are royalty. A Daughter of the King.
Love you and am very proud of you.
Mom

Heidi said...

I see you in there! Wanna come out and play?