3.19.2009

oh for the love of mike...

There is something about being as insecure as I am that makes the world seem like an adventure from a video game. Everything requires strategy and the ability to dodge the super smash. It's an all out gauntlet marathon.

Here is the ridiculous conversation my brain is having with itself as I sit here and write.

You look good today... shut up, you look like a twelve year old... why do you care?... why do I care, hmm... I enjoy writing... you suck at writing... who cares? I like it?... You should care, stop wasting your life... damn, my life is meaningless... I didn't mean it like that! You have meaning... Oh it's too late, you already said it... Time to drown my sorrows, bring on the rum... Rum? Yeah right. You're in a coffee shop, enjoy the coffee... Coffee! My life isn't so bad, I have coffee... Your life isn't bad anyway... Well, I know, but you know what I mean... Just shut up and get to work... Roger, roger, roger, roger.

Crazy. Yes.
Insecure. Yes.
Unsure. Yes.
Growing increasingly more incapable of knowing how to deal with myself around other people face to face. Yes.

I think I might just need medicated. Did somebody mention rum? Oh, right. Never mind...

2 comments:

brandilion said...

I do love some rum.

A little of my own crazy might help you out...

Look at my hair today, all shiny and bouncy, I like it. It will keep people away from my complexion. What is wrong with my skin? It is so gross. But at least my body looks great today, this shirt works. Just keep them looking at your rack and no one will notice your stomach. J-E-L-L-O. Really it's no wonder no one loves you. You will be lonely till the day you die. You are going to be a crazy, single, childless, cat lady. Is that why he didn't call me back? He probably doesn't like me anymore. He could smell that cat piss on me already. Shit. Shit. Shit.

Now where was that rum again...

Jenn the Indomitable said...

It is my goal in life to look like a twelve year old. A 12 year old BOY. All skinny and awkward. Instead I am tubby.

12 year old = good.